The Right Way to Peel a Christmas Orange: EXPOSED

The time has come to reveal the awful truth behind an old post here on Geekshop. A year ago today, I posted a how-to article on peeling a Christmas orange. The idea was simple: remove the orange peel in a single piece. However, when I peeled the orange for the 5th and final picture the peel broke into two pieces! I faked the photo and hoped that nobody would discover my crime. I'll wait a moment while you come to grips with this horrifying reality.

(The orange is cleverly placed to hide the horrible truth!)

(Here is an illustration of what actually happened that day)

I have kept this dark secret with me for a full year now, agonizing over the injustice to you, my readers! I apologize to you all. Now go eat an orange however the hell you want to. Merry Christmas!

Cuteness courtesy of YouTube

Check out what appears to be an extra puffy Gund stuffy puppy (heh) trying to stay awake.

Wacky Weekend

I did lots of stuff this weekend. I had two rehearsals for the nutcracker, two Christmas parties and went Christmas shopping in Prince George. Alanna went to PG with me and we stayed over Friday night with CarbonMan and Peanut. Thanks to our little trip I'm mostly finished my Christmas shopping. Woohoo! It was nice hangin' with Carbon and Co. again too, I wish we had more time there. On a positive note we played some Wii, that was fun. I hadn't ever tried any multiplayer Wii games until this weekend.

On Friday the four of us were in EB Games just looking around. They had a Wii kiosk and a PlayStation 3 kiosk setup. The contrast between the two is amusing. The Wii setup is white and glows light blue, and the PS3 setup is black and glows red. It was like Heaven and Hell meeting each other on the field of battle, which happened to be a game store. I've played Wii before so I decided to embrace the dark side and stood before the mighty Sony altar. The temperature was staggering, and I could smell boiling sulphur.

Through the haze of heat I could make out a display, it was some kind of motorcycle game, and I was racing through a desert with a few other vehicles. The graphics did look pretty nice, but there was something wrong with the sound. There was only music, no sound effects. I paused the game and enabled the tilt sensors in the controller. After unpausing the sound started working! Also, the tilt sensors in the controller aren't bad. Now here's the best part. I wasn't exactly doing well in the game, and I kept crashing. Well the PS3 decided to follow my example and crashed. The sucker froze right up! Now I know you're thinking that the PS3 is new hardware and the bugs have yet to be worked out, but I think this wasn't a crash at all, it's a feature. The PS3 is designed to be the God Satan of your living room. Therefore, it will make decisions for you, such as when you should stop playing it. I believe that this PS3 felt my inward leanings towards Nintendo and deemed me unworthy to wield the hallowed cursed sixaxis controller. It also left a pentagram shape seared on my right palm. What a fantastic first impression. I totally want a PS3 now!

Pimped out bicycles

If you can think of something impossibly weird and/or stupid, it's likely that somewhere on this planet it has been done. For example, check out these bikes.

The Worst of MySpace: Part 1

A few months ago CarbonMan wrote a little post about MySpace entitled MySpace.com: The unshaven, malformed ass of the Internet. I couldn't agree more with his post! In fact, it has inspired me to start a new series of posts here on Geek in a Machine Shop. I'm going to call it The Worst of MySpace! In this series I will root out horrendous pages on MySpace and link to them. Then we can all have a good "point and laugh" session in the comments. Also, I've come up with the following scoring system. MySpace pages start with a score of 0. For breaking each of the following rules, the page gets -1 point. Therefore, 0 is the best possible score and -10 is the worst.

- Bad text/background colour combination
- Poor grammar/spelling
- Lame profile name/photo
- Retarded images
- Bad music playing
- Gaudy gif/flash animations
- "I hate my life" or "I'm going to kill myself"
- Inside references/jokes
- Broken images/music
- Excessive profanity/sexual references

Ready? Here we go!

Today's Worst of MySpace breaks one of the cardinal rules of website design: Ensure that viewers can actually read your page! The epilepsy inducing background prevents us from reading the riveting dialogue, for example: "hola...bitch..i love yooh so much but if yooh want our relationtion to be continued than comment my fuckin pictuers or something!!!!" Well, maybe the background choice isn't so bad after all.

Our showcase site today also features a pile of stupid pictures. Look, it's a picture of a t-shirt with something funny on it! Hahaha! It says "Got Milk", and her boobs are big! That is delightfully amusing! Along with a handful of other transgressions, this site gets a score of -4.

If anyone feels like trolling MySpace, feel free to email me links to particularly ugly pages. If they're bad enough they'll be showcased here. I'm especially eager to find that perfect(ly awful) -10 page!